" Fate itself was the doctor's own fatal disease. From his youngest days, he had had a lucid awareness that " I, as an individual, am living under the control of some outside force." This may have been owing to the vivid blue mark on his right cheek. When a child, he had hated this mark, this imprint that only he, and no one else, had to bear upon his flesh. He wanted to die whenever the other children taunted him or strangers stared at him. If only he could have cut away that part of his body with a knife! But as he matured, he came to a quiet acceptance of the mark on his face that would never go away. And this may have been a factor that helped form his attitude of resignation in all matters having to do with fate."
Source: Haruki Murakami " The Wind-up Bird Chronicle", Vintage Books, London.f